So, I'll be honest: I've lost hope. I look at this big rusty hulk of a boat (not to mention the other sections that are laying on the road side halfway up the mountain) and I think to myself "What the hell have you done here?" There are so many, many unknowns, not the least of which is how am I going to get this thing back in the lake and then, oh yeah, where am I going to moor it? I've spent so much money and the final goal is so far off and I'm feeling pretty down about it all. And, then,even if I get it all back together, back down to the lake, and successfully floating, how am I ever going to have it working for hire? I mean, the existing barge service is already doing great work, and there'll be no need for my old WWII relic. I'll be out all this money, and should have just bought a speed boat. Think of the new boat I could have bought for the same amount of money and I'd already be having fun with it!
Then today happens.
I'm down at my wife's house (we're separated) checking on the pets while she and the kids are out of town. Just as I am leaving, the phone rings. I hesitate answering it--it's not my phone and it's probably for Leigh--but, then think perhaps it;s the kids trying to reach me. So I answer it.
"Hello, I'm looking for Martin."
"This is he."
"Hi, this is Joe from the Forest Service and we have some work projects for you and are wondering if your barge is ready to work yet...."
This FS guy did not have this number. And even if he did, what are the chances that I would be there in this house that is not my house at that time?
Some might see this as coincidence and, to be honest, at a different point in my life, I would have also. Not any more. This was God. God giving me a little boost, a little reassurance. Hey, I know that what I'm doing with this project is crazy, from start to finish, but it's my crazy. Soren Kierkegaard said that our ultimate goal is to be our best self, this best self that God designed us to be. Not anybody esle, or their best self--you and your best self. This kind of thing that I do, the
collecting of tired iron, the making of things out of cast offs, the fixing of things others can't fix, the big crazy dreams, this is what God made me for. I can't explain how my purpose fits into the big Plan, I just know this is me and this is what I am supposed to be doing.
Then today happens.
I'm down at my wife's house (we're separated) checking on the pets while she and the kids are out of town. Just as I am leaving, the phone rings. I hesitate answering it--it's not my phone and it's probably for Leigh--but, then think perhaps it;s the kids trying to reach me. So I answer it.
"Hello, I'm looking for Martin."
"This is he."
"Hi, this is Joe from the Forest Service and we have some work projects for you and are wondering if your barge is ready to work yet...."
This FS guy did not have this number. And even if he did, what are the chances that I would be there in this house that is not my house at that time?
Some might see this as coincidence and, to be honest, at a different point in my life, I would have also. Not any more. This was God. God giving me a little boost, a little reassurance. Hey, I know that what I'm doing with this project is crazy, from start to finish, but it's my crazy. Soren Kierkegaard said that our ultimate goal is to be our best self, this best self that God designed us to be. Not anybody esle, or their best self--you and your best self. This kind of thing that I do, the
collecting of tired iron, the making of things out of cast offs, the fixing of things others can't fix, the big crazy dreams, this is what God made me for. I can't explain how my purpose fits into the big Plan, I just know this is me and this is what I am supposed to be doing.
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